To See The Shadows Through The Mists
by Roofran411
Summary: After the deaths of his wife, son and father, Marke had to face the loss of his mentor and friend Merlin. He is gradually rebuilding his life and his kingdom.


**To See the Shadows Through the Mists**

This third part moves the story of Marke of Kernow further along, leading up to the period of the film ; the legend of _Tristan + Isolde._

As with my other Marke and Isolda Stories, I have written it in a fairly modern style with occasional dips into a Mediaeval form .

In fairness, it must be said that Marke, Isolde and their companions came two or three generations after Arthur, Merlin and their contemporaries; I hope putting them in the same period does not detract from your enjoyment.

The Merlin/Viviane thread , the Morgause /Mordred thread and the Guinevere/Mordred thread come from the books_ The Last Enchantmen_t and _The Wicked Day_ by_ Mary Stewart._ I owe much to Lady Stewart whose knowledge of the legends and whose exquisite writing I can never hope to match.

.

My thanks too. to the talented actors who _never_ have played the roles but whom I see as my characters.

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**Mordred**...Bradley James

**Viviane**….. Adelaide Clemens

**Tramor**... Rory Kinnear ( Tanner ...Sky fall: ... Vexed)

And

**Arthur…..** Rupert Penry-Jones.

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Lastly, my thanks as always, to **Rufus Sewell** whose face and voice I continue steal for my stories and whose looks and talent continue to enchant me.

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Excepts from a song by Abraxas **Into The Light**

**.**

Sometimes, when I close my eyes, i see faded days

A young man full of hopes,

and dreams a better life to live.

Time for me to go has come

I'm standing at the point of no return

There's no way out.

I'm lost with every step i do.

'Into the light never come back

Revelations coming

Into the light one way ahead,

Into the light .

.

TO SEE THE SHADOWS THROUGH THE MISTS.

.

I stood on the threshold, leaning in, my hand on the doorframe. My cloak, with its wolfskin shoulder cape, fell to my heels and with the bright sunshine behind me, together we cast a huge shadow, blocking the light of the woman standing at the table. Without turning, she waved her hand in a irritated gesture that said both get out of her light and to wait, that she would be with me.

She was obviously expecting a caller.

Whoever it was, it was not me.

I stepped down into the room and out of her light.

I looked around the now brightly lit chamber that was as familiar to me as any at my home in Castle D'Or.

I studied the woman at the table.

She looked very different to the way she had looked the last time I had seen her. Then she was dressed as a boy and a serving boy at that. Now she wore a blue fine wool gown with a white apron over it and her hair now , tied back under a white linen cap, was past her shoulders, shining red gold in the sunlight .

I waited.

At last with a soft sigh of satisfaction, she wiped out the small bowls she had been using and put them aside and turned to face me.

"Good morrow, Viviane."

The shock threw her back against the table, grasping it so that her knuckles shone white through the skin, her face a sickly pallor.

"My lord King."

_I , accompanied by a small band of the King's Guard had ridden across the borders of my Kingdom into the wetlands of the Summer county that was part of Arthur's Kingdom. We rode through the mists, feeling the ground beginning to rise under our horses' hooves, until we burst through the swirling mist into the bright sunshine where Arthur's grazing lands and his apple orchards lay before us, their pale pink flowers blossoming in its warmth. _

_And beyond, where the limestone cliffs of the Mendips began to tower, holding fast to its foothills, glittering and shining, lay Camelot._

_Arthur's capitol._

_Arthur, the High King of Britain, my Liege Lord, and my cousin ._

_" Come, Marke," his message had said. " As soon as you can; when the weather begins to break. Before the Irish raids begin again._

_There is a matter of which I wish to speak to you."_

_And so before Beltane, when the snows had gone and the night frosts had eased, I had taken a select few from my troop of Guards and we made our way across the long narrow peninsula that was my Kingdom to Camelot. We crossed the three moors, still desolate in parts with the winter's frosts and gales and rode across the fertile low land with its orchards and tilled fields that were beginning to haze green with the new corn and barley until pausing to slake our thirst only a mile or so from the city, I looked around at Arthur's pleasant land and my eyes lit on Merlin's lovely low villa: Applegarth, that I had come to love as much as Castle D'Or._

_But Merlin had left his home almost three years ago; had left it with his young lover, to return to the land of his childhood._

_To go there to die in his crystal cave._

_He knew he was dying and had told Arthur and me, that Applegarth was to be hers when he had gone. _

_I disliked and mistrusted her but was that because she was the sign that Merlin was dying?_

_Merlin had 'seen' in the air, in the water, in the fire, that to take a lover would presage his death. Yet he had taken her to his bed joyfully, lovingly._

_I did not trust her. _

_Yet ..._

_'You may trust Viviane " he had said; one of the last things he had said to me._

_And I must place my trust in him as I had always done. _

_I had heard nothing since they had ridden out of the courtyard at Castle D'Or. _

_.-_

_I narrowed my eyes. _

_Smoke? _

_Surely that was...yes, smoke rising from its chimneys. I turned in my saddle and beckoned. _

_"Tramor!" _

_He detached himself from the troop and joined me._

_"Put someone in command; they are to ride on and set up camp. You will come with me."_

_His eyes went to Applegarth, then to me. _

_A steady man, Tramor: often understanding and seeing what was to be done without being told. In the past four years I had come to trust and rely on him ._

_The troop moved on while we waited; then we turned off the road and rode through the fields till we came to Merlin's orchards. I tossed my reins to Tramor and went on through his gardens on foot._

_His vegetable beds were newly turned; the fruit canes neatly tied and his herbs trimmed or freshly seeded._

_Not newly arrived, then._

_I went through the door in the wall that formed a courtyard with the house, the dairy and the stables. The doors to the still room and the kitchen were both open. I knew where she would be and crossed to the stillroom._

_I stood on the threshold, leaning in. _

_When she turned, I said " Good morrow, Viviane."_

"My Lord King," she said." you are welcome."

I doubted it, but I nodded graciously anyway.

" I am finished here. Shall we go through to the atrium?"

She untied her apron and hung it on a hook behind the door. The full skirts of her gown emphasized the curve of her hips, more obviously now than in the past when she had worn a boy's breeches; and there was a power too about her now that was not there before.

She led the way through into the main part of the house.

"Give me your cloak, my lord. Sit you and I will bring you something to eat and drink."

She took it and gestured towards an armchair, which had always been Merlin's chair. I unhooked my sword in its scabbard from my belt and laid them together with my helm with its gold circlet, on the chest below the window and moved across the room.

I looked around me. At the white walls freshly lime washed, the red terracotta floor tiles with the warmth rising from the hypocaust that Merlin had built under them. the chairs with their brightly woven cushions . The bowl of apples, the candle holders.

The jugs of flowers... They would not have been there when the house was Merlin's. These were a woman's touch; Viviane's touch.

I sat in his chair.

His home; so comfortable and warm and yet he had gone to his cave in the Black Mountains above Maridunum to die.

Merlin ! My heart ached with the missing of him.

She brought a jug of cider and a plate with small cakes. She poured two cups and put one on a small table at my side, then sat facing me.

"You are on your way to Camelot?"

I nodded.

" I saw the smoke and turned off to come here."

I paused, feeling my way carefully.

For my sake, not for hers.

"He is gone then?"

She nodded slowly.

Her eyes met mine, straight and open, although she must be remembering my last words to her.

_"If harm comes to him through you, I will hunt you down and I will kill you."_

"When ?"

"Just after Samhain. He was very sick for a long time...there was much..."

"Yet you did not let me or the High King know?"I interrupted coldly.

"There was much to do before he went; and after ... Much that he had told me that he wanted done after he..."

Her tone was equally cold and her eyebrows were slightly raised in the manner of a lady unused to her actions being questioned. Yet this was the girl who had been Merlin's servant first, then his lover.

" Besides, he did not want that."

I rested my mouth against my fist and studied her.

"It was bad, the pain, the sickness; worse later. He did not want you to see... You would not have wanted..."her voice cracked a little.

_I heard his voice, "I have told Arthur and I am telling you... You may trust Viviane."_

"Tell me!" I said and watched her. The shock of seeing me had left her face but the pallor was still here. And though her eyes were on mine, she was alert as if she listened for something.

"He had begun to teach me how to make simples, ointments and potions. More so when he knew he was ill."

"He said, at Castle D'Or, he said poison."

"Yes" she answered me. "he knew it was so. A powerful one and a slow one; one he did not know and could not fight. It was well rooted in him before he knew."

"One not known to Merlin?" The surprise was in my voice.

The wisest and most knowledgeable of healers; Merlin did not know?

"Did he know who?"

A faint smile curved her lips "Oh Yes! He 'saw' who."

"And you?"

"He would not tell me...but... ..."

I waited. Her eyes flickered out of the window and back to mine. She was afraid still. Of what? Not of me? No, I did not now think that she was afraid of me.

"When we were at the cave, when he realised it would be longer, much longer than he thought ...he taught me ... Making fire, simple magic, some spells. When he saw I had an aptitude, he taught me more. From his scrolls, his books . I do not have the Sight, but he taught me to scry a little; to read the fire, the water; he taught me more and more until in his weakness, I could take his knowledge from his mind.

So yes, I know who. No! I will not tell you. He did not want you to know or he would have told you. He knew ...that you would seek justice.. wreak vengeance."

"And, if I should hazard a guess?"

"I should not tell you."

I rubbed the scar through my eyebrow as if in thought. Then fingers interlaced, I tapped my mouth with my steepled forefingers.

"My Lady of Orkney?"

"I will not tell you."

But her mouth which had been tightened, relaxed slightly.

Oh! My Lady Viviane, you are clever but being clever will not better family knowledge nor having been taught to play chess by a master.

I wonder, did he teach you to play chess too?

Maybe.

But I do not think he would have told you during those long days and nights in his crystal cave, how she had wanted him and his knowledge, and how he had rejected both her corrupt mind and her beautiful body.

No! Not Morgause! She had some magic but she had wanted different things, worldly power, power over Arthur and his land.

Morgan! The sweet faced, sweet spoken, vicious, vindictive Morgan who went to the priestesses and added their darkest of arts to her own knowledge; and who would have waited to take her revenge.

Morgan, so aptly called Le Fey.

I looked across her, my eyes at their most guileless.

"Then I will not ask, my lady."

Again, her eyes went to the window, to the door behind me.

"My lord, you will not seek ..." she hesitated, "you will not..."

She chewed her lip.

" If Merlin had wanted revenge or justice, he would have told me. No, Merlin knew that justice will be exacted another way. I have said that I will not ask."

I watched her still.

I directed our speech away, away from Merlin, and Morgan; but she was still on her guard.

Something, something.

I was so concerned with her, my attention solely on her, that I missed the faintest of sounds until I heard too late, the hiss of a sword being drawn behind me.

I leapt up and Viviane flung herself between me and the man who had come up on us so softly .

Pelleas, Lord of Belgarum.

A lord of my own age, from the eastern borders of Arthur's Kingdom, we had known each other slightly from our youth . We had not been friends; but neither were we enemies.

"Step aside, my Lady!" he said harshly. His sword tip whipped over her shoulder to prick at my throat. I was astonished more than afeared. I looked down at her. She stood before me, her arms outstretched, shielding me.

Without dropping his blade, he reached out and pulled her to thrust her behind him.

" Sir Pelleas, the King is unarmed."

He took not his eyes from mine, his sword still levelled at my throat.

"Pelleas! He means me no harm."

Her small white hand came around him to rest on his chest. He covered it with his own; he looked down at her and his face told me what I should have guessed.

He loved her.

Loved her enough to draw his steel on a King.

Her lover? I thought so.

Was this what she wished to hide from me?

Why should she think I should care?

Anger ripped through me.

I did care.

I loathed the speed at which she had taken a lover into Merlin's bed.

The bile rose in my gorge but I held still and watched the two in front of me.

" My Lord Pelleas, the King and I have much to say to each other. Will you leave us? A little while? I am quite safe."

She smiled at him beguilingly.

Did she love him, I wondered?

He looked at her a long steady look which she returned. He nodded gently at her and a sharper one at me and he turned away.

"My trooper, Lord Pelleas? He is unhurt?"

He looked at me questioningly.

"I left him in the orchard?"

"I saw him not, my lord. I came on the eastern path." He trailed off.

The eastern path from Camelot, that was not overlooked.

So he could come to her unobserved.

He turned on his heel and left us.

We stood waiting while his footsteps died away .

I wondered idly where he would wait for her.

She turned to me.

"Your lover?"

She did not reply .

" It did not take you long ." I said caustically." Take his knowledge, his home, all he could give. Then a strong young man to fill his place in your bed."

The disgust was apparent in my voice.

Her head jerked as if I had slapped her but again she made no answer. She moved to the fireplace and rested her arm on the mantel, looking down into it.

I waited a moment or two and stooped to pick up my cloak.

"That is unfair." she said. "I am young, he was old and sick for many months. Merlin," She hesitated now; "he was my ..we.. I have..." Then almost defiantly "I am not a slattern. There have only been two..."

I stopped and turned back towards her,

She rested her head on her arm.

I waited, a long pause; then, as I made to leave, she said:

" When he was ill, I fought for every scrap of him; to take it into my mind. Yes I wanted his power but I wanted him, the very essence of him into me, to save him in me.

Pelleas is a good man but he is only to fill the empty nights."

I waited again.

I took two paces towards the door.

"I loved him, my lord King."

She turned towards me.

"I loved him, I have always loved him."

"I was ten when I first saw him.

_" He did not see me. There was only my brother and me. My brother was bound to the smith in Durham. He had dressed me as a boy, when our father died ... To protect me. From his master, and others. Merlin saw his master beat him and bought him out of his bond. "_

_._

I saw that she meant to go on and I dropped my cloak and sat again in Merlin's chair.

.

_"He told Siarlach, my brother, where to meet him. Siarlach was to tell him about me but he, rejoicing in his escape from his master , went first to bathe in the river ...The Wear flows fast there, he drowned. Merlin told me later that he thought that Siarlach had run from him._

_I did not see him again till I was fifteen, still living as best I could as a boy, Binding my breasts, moving on when I thought my being a girl was suspected. He had thought at first that I was Siarlach, we looked much alike ... The hair...the eyes... he took me on as his servant._

_I travelled with him two maybe three years. Waiting each day for him to discover my deception. For him to turn from me in anger."_

She sank onto the stool at my knee, not looking at me.

_"He began to teach me , we were together much of the day. I loved him. How not? Siarlach apart, he was the only one to give me affection. And , of course ,he was so beautiful, so clever, so kind. I loved him and I began to want him, as a woman. Then he grew cold, to move from me as if he could not bear me near him. I thought he knew I loved him; that it was distasteful to him and that it was his way of telling me so._

_We were journeying from the north; we camped overnight beside the Monnow. In the morning, I lit a fire and caught and cleaned two trout for our breakfast. When I had put them to cook, I went downstream to bathe in the river. He called me and when I did not answer , he came to find me. When I saw him , I sank below the water level. We were both horrified. He mumbled something about leaving after we had eaten and left me._

_I gave him his breakfast but he left me to eat alone We rode through the day: he did not speak to me. We stayed at the inn at the Severn crossing , I usually slept on a truckle bed in his chamber but he said I was to sleep in the stables. Later, the inn keeper came and told me that my master wished to see me in his chamber._

_I stood by the door, the room was growing dark. He was sitting on the bed, his face in his hands._

_'When we arrive at Camelot, I will ask one of the King's lords to take you. I think it would be best.'_

_I flung myself across the chamber at his feet, my head on his knee._

_'Lord, have I done something wrong? Lord, please do not send me away."_

_I was sobbing._

_He started to speak; I did not understand him at first. It began to be clear._

_'I have tried ...I have fought it ...these many months. I did not think that of myself. That I could...' his voice broke a little._

_'You are so young ...'_

_I felt his hand touch my hair, the briefest softest touch._

_'It has been hard. I wanted ...when I saw you bathing this morning...Sweet Mithras... the need, the violence of the desire for you._

_'My dear lord,' I whispered. 'I need it too. I want to lie with you.'_

_'My dear child. My dearest little one. I have wanted women in the past, the gods know; I have always found it easy to turn from them for my calling but you. You! The gods know too, that I have never dreamt I would want desperately so, to have a boy.'_

_I sat back on my heels to look at him._

_'My Prince,'_

_'Vivian, I will not lead you into that way of life. I cannot make a catamite of you.'_

_My lord prince so learned, so worldly, yet so innocent._

_I stood in the deepening gloom of that chamber. I stepped out of my breeches and took off my tunic; I loosened the bindings on my breasts and stood before him._

_He gave a sharp gasp._

_'You did not know my Lord ? You did not see, this morning?' _

_His silence was my answer._

_'You will not send me away?' _

_"More so the need." was his answer but the response in his eyes, on his mouth was very different and I went joyfully to persuade him to take me to his bed. _

_We were both virgins. First lovers. We taught each other. _

_I had no other till Pelleas."_

_._

I felt then a little remorse for what I had said to her. I waited for her to recover herself but even so, I was astounded by what she said next.

"Will you lie with me? Will you give me a child?"

Cynicism crept in.

"What ? Cannot your lover give you one?"

She turned from me.

" Have you any idea how much you look like him? Your body's shape, your face. your hair, your eyes your mouth." Her voice broke." Give me a child to look like him."

I took several moments to reply.

My distaste outweighed my anger...and maybe something else.

"It does not work that way. You with your knowledge, _his knowledge_, must know that." My voice was cold. "Emrys...my boy, favoured his mother...her hair, her dark, dark eyes... No! I will give no other hostage to Fortune. Besides," I knew that it would hurt and I wanted to hurt her. "Besides I do not desire you." I spat out contemptuously.

She left me and returned to the fireplace, looking down into it.

After a moment or two I rose and went to the chest where my sword lay and buckled it on. I slung my cloak around my shoulders.

"We both loved him, my lord., and he us. He told you that you might trust me. "

I stood looking at her.

She crossed the room and looked deeply into my eyes; hers darkened to black then returned to their violet.

She smiled a small wry smile.

"You shut your mind to me; you may trust me, Lord Marke."

I picked up my crowned helm.

"Perhaps. Perhaps not yet, but never enough to open my mind to you."

Tramor was waiting where I had left him and together we went on to Camelot.

I was silent, my mind occupied, in a turmoil.

The High King received me graciously and fed me at his high table .

The Queen greeted me, her gaiety sparkling through the great hall but I was aware of Lord Lancelot at the top of the long side table, always with that look of ineffable sadness on his face .

I wondered again as I wondered each time I came to Camelot about the rumours which seemed to increase with each year outside of Camelot

Never at Camelot.

No whispers came within the walls of Camelot, though there could be few at court who had not heard them.

" You are tired. Rest you this night and we will speak together in the morning." Arthur said.

He took the Queen's hand and they retired, although I made no move to do so.

I twisted my horn cup between my fingers watching the dregs of my ale as they swirled around, then tossed them back.

A page filled me another, then a third.

I slouched in my chair, and one of Arthur's senior Household servants caught my glance. He held my eyes and raised one eyebrow slightly. I looked back steadily and nodded almost imperceptibly. He tilted his head in query and the slightest of indifferent shrugs from me was all that was necessary.

No words passed; we understood each other.

What did I care who it was?

Another horn of ale.

These days, it is thought from the writings of Giraldus the monk and Geoffroi of Monnow that all ladies of Arthur's court were young and beautiful, pure and chaste.

Many indeed were lovely.

More so were young with healthy appetites; willing too, with so many healthy young men around, especially so when a young king it is, who asks.

The lady who came to my chamber, her laughter soft and inviting , was lovely and voluptuous.

She was knowing and she was hungry.

As was I.

My habit was to abstain at court, preferring to keep my indulgences private but I was not yet five and twenty and my blood was running fierce that night and Sweet Christos knows that I needed a woman.

She stayed through the night to cockcrow, we both wanting only to sate our bodies . And if I thought of violet eyes and copper hair as I took her beautiful body, the lady never knew.

Nor did the lady at Applegarth.

"The Queen and I ... after fifteen years ...It seems unlikely that there will be children ." Arthur said slowly.

For many years now, there had been talk that the king should put away the Queen and take another to give him an heir. That they had been married many years with no issue, and then , the ugly whispers went on, there was Lord Lancelot ..and others, some said. The Queen must be barren. After all the King had a child and it was said, so did Lord Lancelot.

It must be the Queen at fault.

"It is commonly held that you are to be my heir."

We sat, we two in Arthur's Privy Council chamber, in a window embrasure where we could not be overhead.

"Not by me, my lord." I held his gaze. "it is for you to declare your heir, and until you do..."

"You have no expectations?"

"You are my liege lord, I am sworn to you, and I will swear allegiance to whomever you name as your successor. I do not expect anything."

"You have no ambitions to be High King? "

I studied my booted foot, twisting it back and fore, thinking how to answer him.

" I had no ambition to be King of Kernow, yet here I am...

When I was here at nine. Merlin foretold a crown for me. Everything he said, has come to pass. I have one. If there is more to come ." I shrugged. "What will be, will be. I have no fire in my belly for another throne . Nor did I ever have for yours."

He paused in thought, watching his hand as he rubbed it on the arm of his chair.

"What think you of Mordred?"

Mordred. His bastard son, child of incest with his sister Morgause.

Morgause who was held captive by Arthur, in luxury maybe, but in captivity still.

"I would swear allegiance to Mordred.

Again he said, thoughtfully,

"What think you of Mordred?"

"Mordred is my cousin and my friend." I trod slowly, seeking what Arthur might wish to know.

"What think you of him as king?"

Again, I thought before I answered.

I knew how, at first, Arthur had feared how Morgause might use their son as a pawn to wield power over both him and the kingdom. But as Mordred had grown in his care, he had come to love him.

Mordred had sat beside his father in this chamber as I too, had sat with my father. Learning wisdom, justice and statecraft.

This I said now to the High King.

" He has learnt much at your feet, here. How to rule fairly with honesty and truth; he is a fine soldier too, capable of leading..."

"but he has faults?"

"No, lord," Again I was slow to answer." not faults as such. Weaknesses...but then we all have weaknesses..."

"Aye, Marke, we do but Mordred... Mordred's weakness is that he loves his mother, and the influence she may have over him; especially if I were to be gone. Is not that what you were thinking?"

Morgause the witch. His face darkened as he thought of her.

"Aye, my King."

And I agreed with my King; but also I was also relieved that he was not aware of Mordred's other weakness.

Mordred's love of his father's wife.

And the influence she might exert.

Have you discussed this with your Lords?"

He twisted his mouth in dissent.

"I wished to discuss it with you first."

I watched him as I asked.

"Will your Lords accept him?"

His face closed, his voice cold.

Perhaps he was aware of the whispers outside the Great Halls of Camelot.

Perhaps Merlin was right, and perhaps he _was_ aware of other whispers and rumours outside of Camelot among the discontented of his lords

"**_I _**name my heir, and he_ is_ my son."

Aye, he is your son, I thought, and I remembered Merlin's voice,

'_ Bastards do not succeed to thrones._'

I stifled it with my love and loyalty to my king and to my friend.

" I propose to name him as regent in times when I need to leave Camelot. I intend to discuss this first with my counsellors and then to propose it to the Round Table. I wished to speak to you first because you are of the royal blood and the most senior of my lords. Will you support him in this?"

"Aye, gladly, my liege, and place my hands in his, should you name him as your heir."

Merlin slid into my mind again. He had taught me how to be a king. I know this now though I did not know it then. He taught me always with love and though he treated Mordred with affection, he held back.

He did not teach him as Arthur's heir.

Another thing added its concern but this I was able to ask my King.

"My lord, Mordred's brothers?"

"What of them? The Princes of Orkney have had the run of this court as my nephews for the past ten years. They will surely give allegiance to their brother."

I did not answer. With Morgause as mother, there was no surely about it.

.

Mordred and I rode out that afternoon, hard and fast, pushing our horses to their limit, out on the downs beyond Camelot, beneath fluffy white clouds scudding across the blue skies.

He flung himself down from his horse, onto the greensward and I joined him.

We lay catching our breath until at last he turned and looked at me

"By the Old Ones! You look as if you have had a hard night. Which one of the ladies managed to wriggle her way into your bed?"

I gave him a hard look which he ignored.

"You are being coarse."

"Who got her hand into your breeks? Come on, tell me ! She has to be special if she..."

His voice died away as he saw my face .

A look of unholy glee spread over his.

"You did! Hah! You had your prick up."

I pulled a face of disgust and turned away.

He leaned across and jerked my chin back.

"Ooh-hoo, our sweet little monk! Our virgin King. Done it at last."

I jerked away. "Christos, Mordred! I am not a monk or a virgin. As you well know! I was married; and there have been girls since."

"Oh truly? I thought you had forgotten how to do it or that your pizzle had fallen off."

I made a rude sound and he laughed again.

"You must tell me; was she any good?"

I turned away , then I muttered, "Yes, as a matter of fact, she was."

"Ye-es," he said consideringly. " I think she had to have been. You look so worn out. How many times did you do it ?"

He gave a smothered hiccup of laughter.

"That's none of your business."

"Did you manage twice?... Never thrice? By Old Herm, I won't believe that!"

He was laughing again.

"Piss off " but I was laughing with him.

My heart was always lighter when I was with him, boys together again.

We lay in companionable silence for a while.

"Marke, you should get married again, you know."

"Why?"I said flatly.

" You need to , for Kernow. You need an heir. And it would be good for you. You need someone for yourself."

"And YOU are telling me? What about you ? When are you getting married? You are older than me."

"I must wed where my father tells me."

I watched him sceptically as he turned onto his stomach so as to avoid my eye. We both knew Arthur would not force him. And that as far as Mordred was concerned, there was a major stumbling block.

I thought that Arthur did not know where Mordred loved, and had loved since he was a boy of sixteen.

But did Guinevere?

I thought that perhaps she did.

I watched him as he got to his feet.

Yes, I was certain that, that knowing lady knew exactly how he felt.

"Let's go !" he said and he swung himself into the saddle.

As I followed suit, he asked ,

"Did my father speak to you?"

"That he will name you his heir? Yes."

His blue eyes so like Arthur's, looked anxiously at me.

"And?"

" And what? If Arthur names you heir, I will pledge unto you. Did you think I would not ?"

He smiled hesitantly.

I turned Dark Star so that I faced him and placed my right hand on his shoulder as he did the same, the sign of loyalty and friendship.

"In Faith and Truth I will bear unto you"

I said the first words of the oath of allegiance.

"Aye, and I you."

He bit his lip and dragged it slowly free.

"There are those who will not accept a bastard...and an incestuous one ."

"Then you must win them around."

I smiled but my heart was doubtful.

There are those who would be more concerned with his other baggage.

Those like me, but I would always be concerned about my cousin not his inheritance.

We moved slowly forward.

"Marke, seriously, you should get married. Drawenna would not want this for you. Besides you need a heir." he said slowly.

"Oh Mordred. My sister, my counsellors, even my Lords! Not you too. "

I dropped my reins a little so that my hands rested on my pommel and Dark Star slowed to a standstill and lowered his head to crop the grass.

"I have two heirs. Gwennith's boys are growing fast. Melor is fifteen and knighted and Tristan is thirteen and preparing for his. They are good boys. Melor is good and works hard for all he achieves. But.." I smiled."Tristan..."I shook my head. "He will make a fine and honourable knight. Perhaps , a good king... "

"Marke, Marke, perhaps it would be wiser to have an heir of your own body."

"It is not always easy to be wise."

I smiled again.

"I have plenty of time."

He was ahead of me now and I clicked Dark Star into a canter.

" Come, let us go." he said and we gave our horses their heads, each with our own thoughts.

Mordred's were his own, and I ...

I knew that whatever may be said, I had no thought in my head that I would ever marry again.

.


End file.
